Memory-Making in the Margins
I have a particular memory of when I was about four years old. I’m standing on a chair that my parents pulled up to the kitchen counter, and I’m helping them make pizza. Not just any pizza—stuffed crust pizza! I press the dough securely around each cheese stick in the rectangular pan. After adding sauce and cheese, we bake and enjoy.
There is nothing magical about this memory, but it is special to me because I have it. I was a little kid doing something fun with my family. Recently, I fact-checked this memory with my mom, and she confirmed my recollection of the details, which kind of surprised me. But we also talked about how she wouldn’t have known that that experience would stick in my brain the way it did. Sometimes, our childhood memories are big moments or planned adventures, but other times, those foundational memories happen among the ordinary days, squeezed into the margins of our busy lives.
As parents, we all hope our kids grow up with a thick catalog of meaningful memories. I want my own daughter to be able to look back on her childhood and smile the way I do when I think about that stuffed crust pizza. But we also know how fast life moves. Wasn’t it just yesterday we were rocking our little babies to sleep? We see the fleeting moments of childhood, and our hearts ache to capture them for and with our kids.
But memory-making isn’t always easy. Maybe your full-time work schedule doesn’t change during the summer when kids are home from school. Sometimes you don’t have a free evening, or there just isn’t paid time off to take. Maybe you don’t have ten spare dollars to spend on something that’s not truly necessary. Or perhaps you suffer from chronic illness, and it takes everything in you just to get out of bed. Time, money, and energy are at a premium. I understand feeling like every minute of my day is spoken for. As a single mom, if I don’t do the work (cleaning, laundry, house projects, etc.), it just doesn’t get done.
With all of this, we might think our kids are missing out on precious memories. But the gospel reminds us that the weight of perfectly fulfilled experiences or expectations doesn’t hang on our shoulders. We can see even the margins of our lives as opportunities to make memories together, trusting God will use them to accomplish his purposes in our children’s lives.
All our families are unique, so this will look different for each of us, but here are some simple thoughts to inspire your own memory-making this summer:
1. Think Small
Maybe your kid is like mine and gets excited at the most random, small things. My daughter doesn’t ask to go to Disney, but she begs me every day to take a “bath” with the garden hose because we did that a couple times. She’s teaching me to think smaller—to see the chance for fun and connection in the things we have to do every day or in tiny detours to our rhythms or routines.
Some of this is a perspective change, because chances are, we are already doing things that our kids will remember fondly. But I encourage you to keep your eyes open to wonder as you go about your days, ready for a chance to pause and make your kid smile. They may not be able to recall all the details of their childhood, but they will remember how they felt having fun with their mom.
2. Get Excited
Especially with younger kids, they often match our energy and excitement for whatever a thing is, no matter how small. While there are plenty of moments where I’ve planned fun things and been met by disdain, I have found that it’s way more likely for my daughter to get on board and look forward to something if I show her how much I’m interested in it myself.
3. Take a Deep Breath
We aren’t asked to steward someone else’s kids, time, or money. The Lord has given us what we have and what we need today. I often need to remind myself of this. I also need to challenge myself to take a second every once in a while and stop rushing from one thing to the next. It’s so easy to focus on the calendar or the list of things we need to get done and miss when our kids invite us into memory-making moments. I’m learning to slow down and see the grace in the margins.
Some ideas to spark inspiration:
Stop to smell the flowers, literally
Dance in the kitchen while the water boils
Pull out the fancy dishes (and they can be thrifted!)
Let bath time take a few extra minutes and read a book aloud
Have a picnic in the living room with frozen pizza or a snack plate
Squeeze your kids tight or chase each other to the door on your way to the car
Tell family stories as you walk, drive, etc.
Include the kiddos in the dinner preparations
Draw a family picture together
Read books in a place in the house you usually don’t read
As you think about your own family, consider the rhythm and flow of your days. How can you seize moments of memory-making along the way?
And remember, mom—God’s grace is bigger than our ability to take our kids on huge vacations or all-day adventures. Let’s hold the time and resources we are given as precious, taking advantage of the margins in our lives to make memories together.
