Two Truths and a Lie about Disappointment

A small gasp escaped my lips as I clicked on the new email in my inbox. Hope mingled with fear; What would the outcome be this time?          

After years of hard work, would the dream I labored toward materialize into reality? Many times, I’d been tempted to give up, but each time, God provided what I needed to take the next step forward. Surely now this story would have a happy ending.     

But the words on my computer screen didn’t take the narrative I had hoped. Instead, they formed a deeper rut in my path of disappointment.      

A tear trickled down my freckled cheek as I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat. Would I ever become a traditionally published children’s author? Or would this dream dance beyond my fingertips, taunting me that my best wasn’t enough—again?

Truth: Disappointment is an invitation to hope in God.

The world defines “hope” differently than the Bible. We often think of it as a desire for something good to happen or a personal goal to achieve. But biblical hope is connected to God, not shifting ideas or crumbling circumstances.

When we feel disheartened by dashed hopes, we can take the psalmist’s approach and embrace the invitation to “hope in God” (Ps. 42:5). We don’t have to ignore the churning of emotions within ourselves, but we can acknowledge our heartache and redirect our gaze toward the unchanging One who never lets us down.

When we release disappointment into the hands of the Lord, we hold again the lasting hope we possessed all along. Even if what we desire comes to fruition one day, that longing can’t ultimately satisfy our heart. Only hope rooted in God and his steadfast love can fulfill us.

Truth: Disappointment refines our motives.

As we walk through disappointment, we stand face-to-face with the tangled desires of our hearts. We’re placed in a position of trusting God with our lives versus chasing one particular outcome.

In Jesus’s famous Sermon on the Mount, he speaks to these mixed motives: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). Meekness or humility isn’t an easy path to take when we really want something. But Jesus exhorts us to not force our way into a specific outcome for our own purposes. Instead, he invites us to trust God will orchestrate the direction of our lives.

Sometimes we don’t get what we want because our hearts aren’t properly tuned with God’s—whether due to pride, selfishness, or faulty assumptions. But living in a fallen world can also lead to missing out on good things—maybe health, a certain relationship, or a work promotion. The gospel reminds us that we’ll always ultimately get what’s best according to our Father—even if that means waiting longer than we expected or never seeing a hope fulfilled here on earth.

As we learn to humbly trust his plan for our lives, our Father purifies and refines our hearts so our desires become aligned with his—and we can “taste and see” his goodness and wisdom even on this side of heaven.[1]

Lie: The success of others diminishes our value.

Sometimes, our gazes drift to the successes of others and embrace the lie that our worth is intertwined with our shortcomings. But God doesn’t measure our value by our accomplishments or perceived failures. On whatever journey we walk, God is concerned with our hearts.

One New Testament story highlights this concept well. A poor widow dropped two tiny coins into the offering box, barely making a hint of a sound. All around the widow, others plunked large amounts of money into the box, their gifts echoing throughout the area for all to hear. Yet Jesus marveled at the poor widow’s faith to give all she had to the Lord.[2] No one else was impressed by her offering that day—except Jesus.

The widow’s worth wasn’t linked to how much she gave, her standing in society, or how well she managed her household. The offerings from others appeared to drip in abundance compared to the widow’s meager gift. But Jesus saw something everyone else overlooked—a beloved daughter who treasured God.

We can desire good things by setting goals and dreaming about the future. But ultimately, only what’s done for the kingdom of God lasts. One day, we won’t be homeowners or renters. A job title or marital status will fade away. The stress and strain of parents’ failing health or our own mothering dilemmas will be no more.

When we stand before Jesus, our earthly successes won’t determine the value of our life—where we lived, how others’ expectations were met, or whether we attained a certain dream or goal. Instead, our worth holds secure as daughters of the King, resting in his finished work on our behalf. We’ll be rewarded for faithfulness in the life he actually gave us—not the ideal one we pictured. 

Rather than focusing on the rise of others and slipping on a downward spiral of despair or self-sufficiency, we can choose to look up. To fix our gaze on the Lord and rest in his presence—a hope that never disappoints.[3]

[1] Psalm 34:8

[2] Mark 12:43

[3] Romans 5:5