Boast in the Lord—Not Your Schooling Choice

We sat around the table, sharing our thoughts on motherhood and schooling. I knew the conversation could go well or poorly, so I chose my words carefully. 

I shared how we homeschooled for kindergarten but chose to send our kids to the local public school for the last two years. I wanted to explain why—how this school was different, how we thought about it carefully. I wanted to tell them about our prayers before we chose this route and all of the prayers since then.

Before I could say anything, the next mom spoke: “I would never send my kids to public school. You don’t know the half of what goes on there.” Her implications hung in the air, unspoken. 

Welcome to the schooling wars, but be forewarned: no one leaves this conversation unscathed. 

I could have exchanged any schooling type for the ones mentioned in this conversation; we’ve all experienced this. Even those of us who don’t have kids in school have likely received unwelcome opinions, doled out harsh criticism toward an opposing schooling view, or (if we’re honest!) silently judged another’s choice. 

Do you feel the draw? Do you feel the draw to be right, to be the best, or to be justified in schooling choices? I do. Still, as Christians, God calls us to unity in our relationships with fellow believers. Can we experience this unity even with moms who school differently than us? Scripture doesn’t just say we can—it demands we do. 

Division 

The Corinthian Christians faced a problem so big that the apostle Paul wrote a letter to address it. Their church was divided. Believers distinguished themselves based on which earthly church leader they followed, and Paul called them out for it: “Each one of you says, ‘I follow Paul,’ or ‘I follow Apollos,’ or ‘I follow Cephas,’ or ‘I follow Christ.’ Is Christ divided?” (1 Cor. 1:12–13). Instead of worshiping God and enjoying sweet fellowship with each other when they met, they argued. They made themselves big and fellow Christians small. 

We do this too, don’t we? Paul could have easily written, “Each one of you says, ‘I homeschool,’ or ‘I public school,’ or ‘I private school.’” When schooling choice becomes a matter of personal pride and judgment, these statements become dividers instead of unifiers. 

Like the Corinthians, we need something that will overcome the division—something that will unite us as we school our children differently.

Unity

An older mom recently invited me over. As I piled snacks on a paper plate and poured myself a cup of tea, we talked about her now-grown kids. One was public schooled for middle school but entered a private high school. Another was homeschooled for middle school and then went to a public high school. Each one had been schooled differently. Why? Because each child had different struggles, and she was doing her best to prayerfully love each child well. 

Can you relate to this mom and her heart for her children? As we seek the Lord for what he wants for our kids, the outcomes won’t look the same from family to family. Still, if the heart behind our choices is to honor Christ, then there are more similarities between us than we might first believe.

When Paul spoke to the Corinthian church, he called them to a unity that went beyond whichever leader they favored. They believed their differences made it impossible to enjoy each other’s company. They boasted in their differences—in themselves and their “tribe.” But Paul told them that their only source of boasting was the gospel. If we boast, he explained, we should only boast in the Lord.[1] 

When you meet with the Christian mom who schools differently than you do, what’s going on in your heart? Are you tempted to judge her motives or elevate your own convictions?? Do you feel these decisions defining or dividing your relationship—like you don’t have anything else in common as friends? Look to Christ for the common ground his death and resurrection provide. Boast in his cross more than you boast in your schooling decision. 

Or, maybe you feel inferior, as if you have to explain your choices so fellow moms will accept you. Remember that your schooling choice doesn’t provide the righteousness you need to stand before the Lord and connect with fellow Christians—only Christ does. We find our identity in his saving work.

People—Not Enemies

Soon, we’ll move our family to a new city. The hours of research invested in this city’s schooling options will become obsolete, and more researched hours will take their place. We’ll pray, ask the Lord for wisdom, and try in vain to see the future implications of our schooling choices. I pray more than anything that we’ll walk forward humbly, clinging to God’s wisdom instead of our own.

With our eyes open and unity in mind, we can grow to love and appreciate moms who choose to homeschool to give their kids the family time they wanted as children. Moms who choose public schools to have the extra support their children need and they couldn’t otherwise afford. Moms who choose private schools to surround their kids with godly mentors and teachers because their children struggle with worldliness. When we stop defining moms as their schooling choices, we see people, not enemies. 

The gospel invites us to look past what we see on the outside—a schooling choice—to see the heart and people behind those choices. God calls us to hold the gospel higher than we do our distinctions. 

On which side do we stand in the schooling wars? I’m not sure we stand at all. Instead, we kneel humbly at the cross of our Lord, whose death and resurrection unifies believers and calls us to rejoice in God alone.

[1] 1 Corinthians 1:31