How Do I Talk to My Kids About Prayer?
One day, while teaching Sunday School to a room full of first-graders, a tiny hand shot into the air. Without pausing for me to call on her, she asked, “If God hears me pray, why doesn’t he talk back to me?” Her big, round eyes stared at me earnestly, and I instantly felt out of my depth. How was I going to explain this to a room of six and seven-year-olds who were—for the first time all morning—quiet and attentive as they waited for my answer?
As a mom of three, I’m struck by how many questions my kids have about prayer. As my husband and I have tried to develop a culture of prayer in our home, it’s also provided a springboard for conversations about what it means to talk with God. Which, in turn, has created space for us to lay a solid, theological foundation for many related topics. Here are five foundational truths about prayer (and therefore God) we consistently come back to:
God can always hear us.
“Can God hear me in my mind?” My six-year-old randomly asked me this while we were baking cookies recently. It’s a good question, so I took her to Scripture. Psalm 6:9 (“The Lord has heard my plea for help; the Lord accepts my prayer”) and Psalm 139:4 (“Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord”).
When talking to our kids about prayer, we can show them how Scripture tells us God hears us no matter where we are or what we’re doing. Whether whispered at the store, yelled in a gym, or held silently in their mind at school, God always hears the prayers of his people because of Jesus. Christ lived a perfect life on earth and made a way for us to talk with God by paying for our sins on the cross. In fact, today Jesus is in heaven, praying for us![1] It’s because of Christ that no matter where his people are or what they’re doing, God is always delighted to hear from them.
God speaks today through his Word.
Just like the little girl in my Sunday School class, a typical follow-up question to understanding if God hears our prayers is, “Then why can’t I hear him?” One of the things I’m still learning as an adult is that God is not “like me.” He doesn’t do things the same way humans do, and it’s an important concept to talk to our children about as well.
Teach your children that God does talk to us, but it’s different from how they hear from their friends or parents. Today, God speaks to us through his Word,[2] and gives wisdom and direction through circumstances, other believers, preaching, and the prompting of his Spirit. God’s guidance will always align with his Word and never contradict it, which is why it’s so important for us to read and know Scripture.
God always answers our prayers.
The old adage, “God always answers with either a yes, no, or not now,” is helpful here. Prayer isn’t like rubbing Aladdin's lamp and having the Genie grant every request we want. It’s primarily meant to change our own hearts to align with God’s and to teach us to depend on him.[3] As they grow older, you can help your children understand that God can see things they can’t, and that if they understood everything, they’d answer the same way he does.[4] We pray not to get what we want, but to get more of him. And that request is always answered with a “yes.”
There is nothing too big or small for God.
When our children pray for the “dog to have a good day” over and over, we as parents can start to wonder, “Is it okay if my kids pray to a holy God like this?” Is this somehow sacrilegious? Take heart that prayers like this are completely normal for young children. It’s a wonderful thing for them to know that they really can bring any request to the God who cares for the sparrows and numbers the hairs on their head.[5]
Over time, lift your children’s eyes to see all the different things they can pray about. Show them prayers from Scripture that help them see the ways God’s people have prayed throughout history. Talk with them about real people in your family’s life and things they can pray for, or ask your children about their hopes and dreams and encourage them to pray about those. Help your children see that our God is holy and deserves reverence and respect, yet because of Jesus, we can also talk to him as a friend. Just like with our friends, we want to pay attention to God when we talk with him, show him respect with our body language, and share authentic words from our hearts. Show them that prayer is much more than simply saying generalities or repeating something they heard you say, but that they can pray in particulars, both big and small.[6]
God wants us to come as we are.
As children grow older, they typically become more aware and self-conscious of how they pray. Help them to see that prayer isn’t something they need to clean up for, have warm and fuzzy feelings about, or get perfectly right. Prayer isn’t an otherworldly activity where they need a special incantation or a poetic display like the Pharisee in Luke 18. It’s about authentically talking with God, truthfully pouring out cares, desires, needs, and dreams like the tax collector. If they don't know what to say, teach them how the Spirit intercedes for them, even when they don't know what to pray for.[7] Because of Christ, they can come just as they are.[8] It’s okay if it’s been a long time since they’ve remembered to pray, and it’s definitely okay if they seem to pray without ceasing! Of course, over time, we all can learn and grow in our understanding and methods for prayer, but it’s important for our prayers to be in line with God’s Word, honest, and humble—focused on God’s glory and our love of him.
Remember, more is “caught than taught.” As you make prayer a regular rhythm in your family’s daily life, your children will naturally see how these things are true. So, as we talk to our children about prayer, may we also be moms that pray in front of and for our children, asking God to grow in them a love and joy for talking with him.
[1] Romans 8:34
[2] 2 Timothy 3:16-17
[3] 2 Corinthians 9:8
[4] Proverbs 3:5
[5] Luke 12:6-7
[6] Philippians 4:6
[7] Romans 8:26
[8] Romans 15:7
