Keeping Christ First in Our Lifestyle Choices

When my husband and I got married, we decided that I would not pursue full-time work outside the home. Although this decision was wise for us in many ways, I quickly began to compare our lifestyle choice to the decisions of people around us. While I was confident that we made our choice in faith, I recognized that many of my Christian sisters made different choices—also in faith. 

As we started to have kids, the universe of varying preferences only expanded—how would I feed my new baby? Would we sleep train or not? What type of products would we use to clean our home? Would we allow screens? Which holidays would we celebrate? How would our family use our free time? How would we navigate all these questions without losing sight of Jesus? 

The truth is, there is room for a spectrum of preferences within the boundaries of biblical faithfulness. Two moms who have different giftings, passions, and personalities can both be pronounced “good and faithful servants” on the final day (Matthew 25:23). So, as we endeavor to make lifestyle choices that glorify God and love our neighbor, here are three guiding concepts to consider: 

1. Prioritize your passions 

What do we talk about most? Often, we can discern what our hearts most deeply love by what comes out of our mouths.[1] We see this principle at play in fitness influencer videos, homemaking blogs, and at the playground as fellow moms swap birth stories and share their opinions on how to raise healthy children. It’s natural to talk about what we love. However, what does it say about our hearts when we’re eager ambassadors for a certain lifestyle but hesitant ones for the Lord? If we invest infinite time and energy into sourcing “perfect” food or clothing for our kids but neglect their hearts, are we truly being faithful stewards? If we emphasize physical fitness to the detriment of our spiritual health, are we pursuing the strength that truly matters? If we passionately evangelize others in our preferred methods of education, child-rearing, work, and homemaking but the good news of Jesus is rarely on our lips, are we meeting our neighbors' deepest needs? 

The Lord has given all of us unique giftings and passions, and faithfulness includes learning to use those gifts well. Simultaneously, we must be careful when we find ourselves more enamored with the things of the world than with Christ.[2] As a gauge, ask yourself whether your fervor for a certain lifestyle is preventing you from engaging in and receiving hospitality. Is eating, cleaning, or recreating in a certain way more important to you than guarding unity with brothers and sisters in Christ? Are you willing to sacrifice your preferences for the spiritual good of those around you? As Christians, we certainly shouldn’t be apathetic about how we live,[3] but we must be primarily passionate about the gospel.

2. Guard against the real enemy by remembering your true Savior 

Often, our commitment to various lifestyle choices leads us to villainize the alternatives. Perhaps we embrace non-toxic living because we fear EMFs, seed oils, fragrance, phthalates, and pesticides. Maybe we spend all our free time at the gym because aging is our enemy. We might perceive a certain schooling option or neighborhood culture as the greatest threat to our children’s wellbeing. Before we know it, we are overwhelmed and on guard, fighting every outward foe while forgetting about the one that lives in our hearts. Friends, if we experience more stress and sorrow over certain lifestyle alternatives than our sin, something is dangerously wrong. 

Matthew 7 says we are defiled not by what goes into the body, but by what’s in our heart. We may be making all the “right” choices outwardly, but is our heart full of envy? Discontentment? Partiality and comparison? Pride and self-righteousness? I am decidedly guilty on all counts. 

Friend, let’s remember the gospel! We can’t obtain holiness by keeping the law or following a set of man-made rules.[4] We need a Savior who redeems and informs our lifestyle choices.

The gospel reminds us of our true enemy and our true Savior. The gospel solidifies our standing as sinners-made-righteous in Christ, giving us freedom to live faithfully. The gospel reminds us that nothing can separate us from the love of God.[5] These truths are richer and deeper than the latest food, fitness, and lifestyle trends. As we seek to live faithfully during our time on earth, let us remember that this world isn’t our eternal home. We can shop, move, eat, source, clean, and craft with the perspective that only the Lord endures forever. 

3. Lead a quiet life 

Christians are to live in a way that is pleasing to God; a way that is peaceful, humble, diligent, and self-sacrificing. Paul exhorts the Thessalonians to make it their goal to live quiet lives.[6] When evaluating your heart motives regarding certain lifestyle choices, ask yourself whether you find the same joy in pursuing something if no one else knows about it. Are you finding joy in baking sourdough or working out for the glory of God and the good of your family, or are you doing it to impress—to “keep up” with people around you? 

When we consider another mom’s media choices, meal plans, or backyard homestead, how do we respond? Are we filled with self-righteousness as we evaluate ourselves as “better” than her, envy and rivalry as we desire to outdo her, or self-pity as we lament how we’ll never be like her? Let’s remember that someone else’s lifestyle is not a threat to ours, and our growth can become stunted when we’re caught up in looking at those around us. Instead, we can heed the word of Colossians 3:17 with our own family’s choices, doing “everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

While the decision for me to stay home was one of the first lifestyle choices my husband and I made as a family, it certainly hasn’t been the only one. As our family grows, we are learning that each choice is ultimately an opportunity to proclaim who we worship. Friends, when we actively prioritize our passions, we shout to the world that Jesus is better than any earthly pursuit. As we remember Christ’s decisive defeat of Satan and death, our earthly “enemies” don’t seem quite as formidable. And, by God’s grace, we are free to live thankfully and quietly for his glory. 

[1] Luke 6:45

[2] 1 John 2:15–17

[3] Ephesians 5:15–16

[4] Romans 3:20

[5] Romans 8:38–39

[6] 1 Thessalonians 4:11