Mentoring is for Moms Too
It may come as a surprise, but younger women in the church are looking up to you. Yes, you—the mom with the baby in her arms and the spit up on her shoulder who hasn’t washed her hair in days. You may feel like you don’t know enough or haven’t learned enough, but younger women want to get to know you and learn from you. Even though your life may feel like some new version of chaos every day, younger women long to be welcomed into your home—with Cheerios on the floor and handprints on the walls.
We need one another in the church. Of course, we learn and grow as we study our Bibles, but we also learn and grow as we watch how others are living out their faith. Paul encouraged Titus:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3-5)
It wasn’t only the content of their teaching that mattered, it was also the conduct of their lives. Mentoring takes place as we live side-by-side in community with others. It involves teaching, but it’s not only teaching. It’s relational and purposeful.
As a mom of young children, you may be wondering, “Am I the older woman or the younger woman?” To which I’d answer, “Yes.”
We’re all both. We need someone to mentor us and we’re called to mentor others. In the midst of raising children, I know it can be difficult to have the time or energy to add one more person into your life. Younger women may be unsure what they want from you, but they need you. And you need them.
Younger Women Need You
You may not feel like you have your life together enough to be an example for anyone. But it doesn’t matter that your home isn’t perfectly decorated. It doesn’t matter that your children may have tantrums while she’s there. It doesn’t matter that you don’t have all the answers.
She doesn’t need perfection. She needs an older woman who is seeking God. You don’t need to know everything in order to pass along something. Study the Bible together, pray together, wrestle through difficult questions together. These conversations may be interrupted by spilled milk and lightsaber fights. That’s okay, and it’s part of the lesson. We don’t wait for a calm season to pursue spiritual growth. There is no calm season. We pursue knowing God and sharing him with others in the midst of busy and full lives.
Look around and think about your daily routine. Who’s a younger woman that you enjoy being around? Perhaps you could invite her for dinner every Sunday evening or go for a walk together on Saturday mornings. Maybe you could serve together in the church nursery. What are you already doing on a regular basis that you could do together? How could you plan to grow together purposefully?
As you invite her into your life, she will learn. She’ll grow in hospitality as she experiences hospitality from you. She’ll grow in knowledge as you talk about the Bible. She’ll grow in understanding as she learns how to apply the word in her own life. Even if she’s not a wife or a mom, she’ll learn about both as she watches you. You may not feel equipped, but if you’re walking with the Lord, you can share what you’ve learned with others. The wisdom you have is wisdom she needs.
You (and Your Family) Need Her
While it may seem like taking the time to mentor someone else in the midst of mothering will take away from time with your children, it actually adds to your family life rather than subtracts. For years, my friend Angela was welcomed into our home with shouts of delight, “Miss Angela, Miss Angela!” as my children raced down the steps to greet her. In her season of singleness she welcomed chubby arms and big hugs. In my season of mothering three young children, I welcomed another set of adult arms.
Angela was a part of my children’s childhood. She came to their birthday parties, helped decorate the Christmas tree, traveled to the beach with us, and was regularly in our home. We planned Bible studies together, discussed all sorts of theological topics, and prayed for one another. All of this somehow took place in the midst of my kids running around. She was a welcome addition to our home, and our home was a welcoming place for her to belong. It was a gift for me to have a friend in a different season of life. It’s still a gift.
Today, Angela lives six houses down from me and is raising three boys of her own, while my home is full of teenagers. I walk into her home and hear shouts of delight, “Mrs. Melissa, Mrs. Melissa!” It’s been a kindness of the Lord to watch my older kids lovingly play with her children just the way she once played with them.
While most mentoring relationships won’t last multiple years and through various seasons, they can be an encouragement in any season. It takes intentionality and thoughtfulness, but it doesn’t have to take a great deal of time. Find a younger woman you enjoy doing ministry with and invite her into your home. Invest in her. Pray with her. Memorize or read scripture with her. The effort is worth it and the blessings extend to you both—you’ll grow together as you learn together.
Editor's Note: Melissa’s new book, Growing Together, provides a helpful and practical guide if you want to learn more about mentoring or if you’re looking for a book to use in a mentoring relationship!
