Radiant Faces: Practicing Gratitude in Difficult Circumstances

“Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed” (Psalm 34:5). 

As I washed pump parts for the umpteenth time that day, I caught my reflection in the mirror and it disturbed me. Sure, with a three-week-old, I expected bags under my eyes. But it was more than that. My countenance was forlorn and withdrawn—like a veil of gray had fallen over everything. 

Breastfeeding had been hard—harder than expected—and my entire mood—how I felt about myself, this phase of life, my abilities as a mother, and even my child—was dependent on how the last feeding session went. Months into this journey now, I still struggle with questions and frustrations about why it’s been so difficult and affected me so deeply. 

I desire to be a “radiant” person like Psalm 34 describes—someone whose grateful spirit and settled confidence is rooted deeper than the ups and downs of daily reality. But in truth, a grateful heart—much less a “radiant face”—feels eons away from my real life of spit up and diaper changes. Yet, God in his mercy gives us everything we need for a life of godliness,[1] and Psalm 34 is full of hope for living a life of radiance in every circumstance.

This world is more broken than we want to believe.

Psalm 34 begins: “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (v. 1). The statement shocks me every time I read it. Really—at all times? Is this because the author’s life has been so easy? No, because we read in verse 19, “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.” The picture here is of a life—a real life—full of troubles and afflictions—and not the temporary kind from which we bounce back stronger.

We live in a broken world. We are told everything—including childbearing and all that comes with it—is tinged because of sin.[2] Things are not as they should be.

And so, even if we do everything right, we will face hardship and disappointment. I am grateful the Bible acknowledges this reality, much as I don’t want to hear it. So often, I try to construct my own heaven right here on earth, controlling as much as I can to achieve my best life now. Then, when my day goes sideways, or deep suffering comes and explodes my expectations for a “perfect” life, my heart is embittered, anxious, and disappointed.

The kind of radiant life described in Psalm 34 may just begin by cultivating a longing for heaven, remembering a time is coming when everything sad will be made untrue.[3] Until then, we can experience real freedom as we release our day, our husband, our home, and our children from bearing the weight of our happiness and contentment—which they were never intended to hold.

Good gifts still abound.

Life is difficult, but it is also littered with good and glorious gifts from God. The author of Psalm 34 has endured deep hardship. And yet, he recalls how God has delivered him. What’s more, he asks us to “taste and see” his goodness (v. 8)! How do we do this in the midst of hard days, weeks, and years? We follow his example and remember all the times God has already delivered us.

We may need a practice as tangible as “tasting.” In our family, one such practice has been a turkey cut out of a grocery bag and construction paper feathers. Each morning for the month leading up to Thanksgiving, we write something we are thankful for on a feather and tape it up, creating a turkey tail full of brightly colored feathers. Alongside “Jesus” and “family,” we put up things like “our basement” and “grilled meats.”

More than any one item on the list, I need to remember the heart of my Gift Giver. There are so many things on our turkey that I could not have even fathomed to ask God for—and yet, he gave them (including a basement for play during long Midwest winters). 

God is better than we could imagine.

But what if the list in our gratitude journal or “thankfulness turkey” falls flat? What if these items feel like tiny drops in a giant bucket of hardship? Psalm 34 does not offer some sugar-coated solution to deep heartache. 

Unlike the many self-help prescriptions of today, we don’t have to conjure up a better version of ourselves or just “look on the bright side” when things are hard. Like the psalmist who cries out to the Lord for deliverance (v. 4), we can bring our whole selves to God. Every tear and grief and heartache is seen by him (v. 15). 

In return, we receive one of the most beautiful descriptions of the heart of God toward those in suffering: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (v. 18). God responds by drawing near to us. So near, in fact, that he sent his own Son to take on human form and dwell among us. When Psalm 34 promises that “none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned” (v. 22), we can look to Jesus and know this is true. 

When our circumstances are relentlessly hard, disappointing, or confusing, we can declare with the Psalmist that we “lack no good thing” (v. 10)-—for there is no greater proof than God giving his own Son for us.[4] 

When we are crushed in spirit and brokenhearted, we can take comfort in Jesus, for he knows what it is like to be rejected, abused, and mistreated—encountering every trial known to man.[5]  He invites us to turn to him for rest.[6]

When we are weary of crying out for relief and answers, we can look to Jesus and still rejoice, for the deliverance described repeatedly in Psalm 34 has been purchased by him. It’s absolutely, completely, and already ours, awaiting us as a heavenly inheritance no circumstance can threaten or defile.[7]

We are radiant, then, not from the day going according to plan or our own tenacity in the face of hardship. A settled, grateful heart is one that constantly turns to Jesus. Because of him, we can be confident of the goodness of God. We look to Jesus and receive a radiance only he can give.

[1] 2 Peter 1:3

[2] Genesis 3:16

[3] Revelation 21:3-4

[4] Romans 8:32

[5] Hebrews 4:15

[6] Matthew 11:28

[7] 1 Peter 1:3-6