How Do I Talk to My Kids about Christmas Gifts?
The Christmas list-making started in my house on the first day of November.
I found my daughters in the kitchen that afternoon writing long lists of all the things they wanted. I scanned the lists over their shoulders. Nail polish. Baby doll clothes. Books. Art supplies. A live horse. (Big dreamers over here.)
As I explained to my daughter that she was definitely not going to get a live horse for Christmas but that she could also still be filled with joy, I realized something: When we talk to our kids about gifts, there is a natural opportunity to have some foundational, gospel-centered conversations with them.
Gospel Conversation #1: Gift-Giving Is a Picture of the Gospel
During the holidays, many kids work hard to get on Santa’s nice list, or they stay on their best behavior because the Elf-on-the-Shelf is always watching. While these can be fun holiday traditions, it is important for our kids to understand that, when it comes to God, there is nothing we can do on our own strength to live up to his standard. Thankfully, this is exactly where his grace meets us.
Because of the fall, we inherited a sinful nature, and in this state, there is nothing we can do to earn God’s favor. No matter how hard we try on our own, we will always fall short.[1] This might sound like bad news to our kids—like they are relegated to the naughty list forever—but the fact that we can’t earn God’s favor is actually a relief. It frees us from the worry that we’re not doing enough. Romans 5:8 tells us that “God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God’s grace is not dependent on anything we do; “it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8).
The act of giving a gift is a small picture of this gospel. It’s a human-sized portrayal of God's best gift to us: salvation through his Son.
Discussion Prompts: It is so exciting to receive gifts, but let’s not forget about the best gift we have been given: Jesus. God didn’t send Jesus because we worked hard enough or spent an entire year being as good as we possibly could. He sent Jesus because he loves us so much, and if we believe in Jesus and trust that he died on the cross for our sins, God promises our lives will be changed, and we will be with him forever. So, when we think about the gifts we get this Christmas, let’s remember the best gift God gave.
Gospel Conversation #2: We Are Called to Give to Others
There is never a shortage of ways to give gifts during the holiday season, and, in all the ways we give, we have an opportunity to teach our kids why we shouldn’t just receive gifts at Christmas. We can also help them understand the call to give.
If we believe in the truth of the gospel, then we have a responsibility to respond to that belief with action. During his Last Supper with the disciples, Jesus gave his friends a new commandment: “Love one another: just as I have loved you...By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35). This call to love can take many forms, but this time of year, the gifts we give to others can serve as an extension of the love God has shown to us. And in this generosity, not only do we live in obedience to Christ, but we also give others a small taste of the immeasurable riches of God’s grace.[2]
Discussion Prompts: It is so easy during the holiday season to think only of ourselves and all the gifts we want to receive, but Jesus tells us, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). Because we believe in Jesus, he calls us to love others and one way we can do that this Christmas is to give generously and cheerfully.[3] Let’s brainstorm some ways we can give to others and pray that, through our gifts, the recipients will better understand God’s love.
Gospel Conversation #3: Contentment Is Found in Christ Alone
There is bound to be disappointment this Christmas. For kids, their joy is often wrapped up in those presents under the tree, so when they don’t receive exactly what they want or see someone else with a “better” gift, they can be quick to respond in sadness or self-pity. This gives us a chance to point them instead to the only true source of contentment: Jesus.
Paul models this kind of living at the end of his letter to the Philippians when he tells the church, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:11-13). Paul, of course, is talking about more substantial needs here than the gifts on a Christmas list, but his attitude toward his circumstances shows us what it means to find our satisfaction in Christ alone. His contentment isn’t impacted by his circumstances or the things he possesses because he is so firmly rooted in the unchanging hope of the gospel. This is the source of his joy.
Discussion Prompts: We won’t receive every single thing we want for Christmas this year, and someone else might get what we hoped for, but we can choose to be content. In fact, even if we don’t receive any gifts, we can still find a reason to be thankful. We know Jesus, and knowing Jesus is the only sure way to be satisfied. It’s fun to get gifts at Christmas, but it’s also important to remember that those gifts shouldn’t be the source of our joy.
These conversations don’t have to be long and they will sound different depending on the child, but what an opportunity we have to steer our kids toward the hope and joy of Christ as we talk about gifts this Christmas.
[1] Romans 3:23
[2] Ephesians 2:7
[3] 2 Corinthians 9:6-7
