Trusting God as Your Family Grows
Editor’s Note: We believe the gospel impacts all the big decisions of life, right down to the size of our families. Though this article targets moms with a little one already on the way, we know that family planning itself is a complex and sometimes heartbreaking process to work through. If you’re currently weighing whether or not to pursue another pregnancy, we hope this worksheet provides you and your husband some helpful questions to consider as you seek the Lord’s wisdom for the future!
We had a lot on our plate when we learned I was pregnant with our third child. Between demanding jobs, having a fresh one- and two-year-old, and my husband working toward certification exams that only one in three people pass, it was difficult to find peace and joy in the news.
My husband needed all the time he could get to study, so it was often just me taking care of our boys outside work hours. This was already overwhelming due to their young ages but became almost paralyzing once I learned I was pregnant. I found myself thinking at nearly every turn, “How on earth am I going to do this with another one?!”
I was only in the first trimester, but the emotional burden I carried made it feel like I was already doing the work of a mom of three.
I was exhausted. I felt defeated. And I was frustrated with myself for spiraling into anxiety. My baby was still in utero, so why was my brain freaking out like he or she was already here?
I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. And I didn’t want to get so caught up in anxiety that I neglected the precious blessing of life growing inside of me or the children God had already blessed us with.
Fortunately, in moments like these—when we’re overwhelmed by adding another little to our families—Scripture offers an abundance of refreshing truth we moms can turn to.
God is Lord over the womb.
From the beginning, God’s Word makes it clear that he is for creation—that he designed mankind to be fruitful and multiply.[1] I’d been so consumed by worry that I’d failed to recognize and rejoice in the goodness of God’s plan for us. He was graciously knitting together another precious image bearer inside me and blessing our family with a good gift!
Whether our pregnancy is planned or unexpected, we can take comfort in God’s sovereignty over all things, including the womb.[2] We may try to pursue or prevent a pregnancy as conscience and biblical wisdom allow, but he’s ultimately in control of who’s added to our family and when they come. So, we can have confidence in his good plans, even when our children’s age gaps raise eyebrows.
The Bible tells us to prepare, not worry.
Of course, there are things we need to prepare when welcoming another little to our family. We’ll need help with our older children and other forms of support when baby arrives. If you’re like us, another baby may also trigger changes like purchasing a bigger vehicle and deciding whether to stay home or return to work.
The Bible shows us through examples that it’s wise to plan. God himself—the ultimate planner—established a strategy to redeem humanity through Christ, fulfilling hundreds of promises and prophecies along the way—now that’s a plan!
God goes on to direct many others—Moses, Joshua, Joseph, etc.—to make plans for the preservation of his people, the conquering of cities, the survival of calamity, and more. Scripture even goes so far as to say it’s foolish to not prepare.[3]
But does the Bible ever say we should worry about what’s to come? No; rather, in Matthew 6:25, Jesus says “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
The Bible tells us to think ahead—to plan ahead—but not to worry ahead. We can’t fully predict the circumstances or challenges ahead for our families, but we can trust our heavenly Father to provide, even and especially through seasons of change.[4] He already knows our every need!
As Corrie Ten Boom put it, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow, but it empties today of strength.”
Look to God.
Because of the fall, life and childrearing now involve painful toil.[5] Adding to our family will be hard, so it’s okay to expect that.
But God’s promises exist even in the trenches of motherhood, and it’s through hard things that he refines us. The Bible tells us, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (James 1:12). As we trust him through the seasons that overwhelm us—when we’re most aware we don’t have what it takes by our own strength—he will faithfully sanctify our hearts and push us to depend on him.
As believers, we don’t do this hard work alone: Before Jesus ascended into heaven, he told his followers that it was a good thing he was leaving, for it was only then that the Holy Spirit—the Helper—would come.[6] In addition to filling our hearts with peace, joy, and hope,[7] God’s Word also says the Spirit helps us in our weakness.[8]
One day, we’ll be in a place without trials—a place where change will not bring fear but celebration as we worship alongside all the children added to God’s great family. Until then, I pray we strive to live as instructed in Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
What a blessing it is that, in this season of change for our families, we can call on the One who’s the same yesterday, today, and forever[9] to guard our hearts and minds. Christ is with us as we look ahead to this new baby’s arrival, and every day between now and then, helping us surrender our worry and reclaim our joy and strength for today.
[1] Genesis 1:28
[2] Genesis 30:22; Job 42:2; Psalm 22:9-10, 139:13-16; Isaiah 44:24
[3] Proverbs 6:6-11, 21:5, 22:3; Luke 14:28-32
[4] Psalm 90:1-2; Romans 11:34-36; 1 Corinthians 2:16; James 4:13-15
[5] Genesis 3:16-19
[6] John 16:7
[7] Romans 15:13
[8] Romans 8:26
[9] Hebrews 13:8
