When the Clock Strikes Midnight: 3 Encouragements for Depressed Moms
Editor’s Note: While we believe the gospel provides hope in all our suffering, we acknowledge that depression and other mental health struggles are complex, individualized experiences. As such, this article is not meant to replace professional help. If you’re walking through depression today, we encourage you to seek the help of those in your real life who can care for you on a multifaceted level—doctors, counselors, pastors, mentors, friends, etc.
If I asked a mom fighting depression, “How much longer will you feel so miserable?” her answer probably wouldn’t be “Just another hour or two. Nearly done now!” Depression doesn’t work that way. Melancholy moods aren’t often snapped out of. Fix-it-fast formulas tend to fall short when sorrow saps us of our strength; well-intentioned platitudes usually miss the mark as well.[1] And when pep talks start feeling like passive rebukes, it can seem like no one has anything helpful to say—like we must fend for ourselves in this darkness.
When our clock appears to be stuck at midnight, it can seem like morning will never come.
Ironically, our quest for meaningful encouragement in this season can be a source of discouragement itself![2] Yet, while it’s true that timely, relevant, life-sustaining words can sometimes be hard to come by in depression, they’re still desperately needed and worth seeking after if we’re to persevere.[3] As Christian mothers caring for families (while also carrying the burden of despondency,) the journey ahead will be too great for us without them.
When wise and winsome words are “fitly spoken” (Proverbs 25:11, ESV), they become like candles that shine in the dark.
If you’re feeling desperate for encouragement as you walk through the darkness of depression, I’d like to pass along a few statements which ministered to me. The Spirit used each of these fitly spoken words to give me strength and insight on my journey. By God’s mercy and grace, I pray they will serve you just the same.
1. God Won’t Leave You Like This
It was years ago now, but I’ll never forget what my counselor said: “I know you feel this way today, but has God ever left you like this?”
With that one, well-timed question, I was not only encouraged to recall God’s past faithfulness in my life but also to apply that evidence to my acute despair. Yes, I felt hurt and hopeless (again), but God had never once left me feeling that way. He had always managed to revive my spirit—and I had every reason to expect him to do so again.
“You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again” (Psalm 71:20, ESV).
How would you have answered my counselor’s question? Has your Good Shepherd led you through dark valleys in the past?[4] Has Jesus previously managed to revive your spirit—to “brighten the darkness” (Isaiah 42:16, NLT) that seemed to swallow you whole? Has he carried you through hurt and heartbreak before? You can count on your Shepherd to do so once more. Christ is committed to lift you up as many times as it takes before he raises you up to glory.[5]
2. Hope Is Both a Gift and a Skill
It was from an uncomfortable bed that I read, “Hope is both a gift from God and a skill he enables us to attain.”[6] This was precisely the encouragement I needed during my seven-day stay in the psychiatric hospital. I was comforted by the reminder that hope is not a subjective emotion but an objective gift to receive in Christ; I was empowered by the realization that I could practice the skill of hope—that I could progressively learn to take hold of the living hope I have.[7]
“God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (Hebrews 6:18-19, NIV, emphasis mine).
The hope God has given you in Christ is not a lie—it’s both a gift to receive and a skill to develop. That means you don’t have to see or sense it to possess and practice applying it. You don’t have to feel different or better before taking hold of the living hope you have. Christ is your light and life—hope is not lost, and neither are you.[8]
3. Depression Serves a Higher Purpose
I often felt helpless and worthless while navigating depression in motherhood. Helpless because I couldn’t immediately snap out of my low moods; worthless because I felt I had nothing good to offer in such a miserable state. However, Paul David Tripp’s statement that “our suffering does not belong to us, but to the Lord” encouraged me to embrace a higher purpose in the pit.[9] He explains, “Our suffering belongs to the Lord. It is an instrument of his purpose in us and for others. The way we suffer must put Christ on center stage . . . When we feel like dying, he calls us to a greater death. He calls us to die to our suffering so that we may live for him.”[10]
That depression could become an instrument of God’s purpose in me and for others was a revelation. Practically speaking, it meant putting him—not me—at the center of every raw emotion and miserable moment. It meant authentically engaging him with every guttural groan and tired tear. It meant living for his glory rather than the glory of being viewed as a strong and steady Christian wife and mother. And it meant my dark days needn’t be wasted ones—I still had Christ’s love to give and his gospel to share.
“If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Romans 14:8, NIV).
If you’re feeling helpless and worthless today, know that even your depression belongs to Christ. Let it serve as a redemptive instrument of his purpose in you and for others. Remember that Jesus has made you indispensable—though he needs nothing from you, his body the church needs what he plans to give through your life.[11] You still have Christ’s love to give. You still have his gospel to share. And as you embrace this higher purpose in the pit, “Your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring” (Isaiah 58:10-11, NLT).
Sister, no matter how deep and long this night may feel, the Light of the World—the “dawn from on high” (Luke 1:78, CSB)—is by your side, bringing you safely home. As you endure these dark days, trust that they are numbered. Though midnight is here, morning must come. You’ll see.
[1] Proverbs 17:22, 25:20
[2] Psalm 69:20
[3] Hebrews 10:23-25
[4] Psalm 23
[5] Psalm 68:19; Proverbs 24:16; 1 Corinthians 15:52
[6] Edward T. Welch, Depression: A Stubborn Darkness (Greensboro, NC: New Growth Press, 2004), 79.
[7] 1 Peter 1:3-5
[8] Psalm 27:1, 139:7-12; Colossians 3:3-4
[9] Paul David Tripp, Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change (Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 2002), 153.
[10] Ibid., 153-154.
[11] Acts 17:25; 1 Corinthians 12:22; Romans 12:4-8
Portions of this article have been adapted and expanded upon from Christine’s new book, Midnight Mercies: Walking with God through Depression in Motherhood (P&R Publishing, 2023).
