Do You Have a Good Reason to be Angry?
I never dreamed I’d be a minivan mom. However, after my husband convinced me to take one for a test drive, I was sold. I didn’t want to love the car-seat friendly chairs, or the oh-so-smooth sliding doors, or the excessive amounts of cup-holders…but I did. It just made so much sense.
Exactly three days after owning the aforementioned mini-van, I stopped at Sonic and told my kids they could each take a drink of my tea. I laid out the rules, reminded them to be careful not to spill, and encouraged them to use both hands.
My 4-year-old took a drink without any problems. However, the second my 2-year-old held the cup, he squeezed the Styrofoam and tea gushed out all over my new car. I felt an all-too-familiar feeling. My hands started shaking, my heart started beating a little faster, and I sensed anger and frustration welling up inside.
This was not righteous anger over unjust issues or cruelty in the world; instead, it was selfish anger that flowed out of me in the form of snappy remarks, harsh looks, and an overall demeanor of frustration. I was angry that something I’d tried so hard to prevent was happening. Angry that I cared so much about spilled tea. Angry that my son was upset, too.
As I reflect, it’s easy to put this fleeting moment into perspective. My logical side knows the spill can be cleaned, and the minivan still provides a way to transport my family whether it’s new and pristine or not. Yet, in the moment, I let anger reign.
We see similar examples of unrighteous anger in Jonah. After Jonah fled from the presence of the Lord, spent three days and nights in the stomach of the fish, and prophesied to the city of Nineveh, we read that Jonah was displeased and angry because God relented concerning the calamity he had declared he would bring to Nineveh.[1] What Jonah had prophesied would not come to pass.
As a result, in Jonah 4, we see the Lord pose a single heart-wrenching question to Jonah on two separate occasions. God asks him, “Do you have a good reason to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4, 9, NASB).
In his anger, Jonah missed the very same things we often miss in our anger: God-appointed circumstances and the Lord’s compassion.
God-Appointed Circumstances
So often, the events around us feel unfair and wrong. We can easily become bogged down by our circumstances, blaming everyone and everything in our path. Yet, Scripture shows us that oftentimes, even the seemingly unfair circumstances are appointed by God to bring about his purposes.
This is the case in Jonah 4.
In verse 6 God appoints a plant to provide shade to Jonah.
In verse 7 God appoints a worm to attack the plant.
In verse 8 God appoints a scorching east wind and blazing sun making Jonah feel faint.
Each one of these circumstances was God-appointed—both the good and the bad.
As I’ve reflected on my minivan circumstance through this lens, my eyes have been opened to more of what God is doing in and around me. A dirty minivan reminds me of the children God has given me to steward and disciple. My desire to preserve the cleanliness of the car revealed a deeper heart issue of holding too tightly to earthly possessions. Comforting my son who was upset reflected the compassion and care of our heavenly Father who perfectly comforts us. This minor inconvenience and unfortunate circumstance turned into a very real reminder to live unhurried and aware of God’s purposes at work in my life.
The Lord’s Compassion
Secondly, the end of Jonah 4 reminds us that our anger often blinds us to the compassion of the Lord:
And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left…” (Jonah 4:10–11a)
Jonah’s compassion for the plant was based on his selfish desire for comfort. He did nothing to create or provide for the plant and still felt like he deserved its protection. But he didn’t think the people of Nineveh deserved God’s compassion. In his anger, Jonah missed the fact that God’s compassion is never deserved. Jonah had received compassion when he disobeyed the Lord, but became angry when God chose to show similar compassion towards a city full of lost people.
Similarly, if I hadn’t been so angry about spilled tea in the new minivan I wrongly thought I deserved, I might have seized opportunities to show God’s compassion to the people around me. This may have involved asking our carhop (who I’m pretty sure saw the whole spill) how she was doing or how we could pray for her, or using this situation to teach my kids about God’s compassion and mercy in ways that they could understand.
Unrighteous anger clouds our view and can keep us from being effective disciples of Jesus. So, what are we to do when anger begins welling up? How can we combat these feelings the moment they occur?
We can start with a deep breath and a not-so-simple, simple question: Do I have a good reason to be angry?
[1] Jonah 3:10–4:1
