When Scripture Memorization Meets Us in Our Mothering
One Sunday at church, I experienced a sticky parenting issue that required a pretty serious discussion and disciplinary measure with one of my children. The offense was quite public, and as both a pastor’s wife and a mother, my pride was hurt. Having to react in public felt especially embarrassing. To be perfectly honest, I was just plain angry. Angry at my child for his disobedience and for doing it in front of others and angry at myself for not being the mother I wanted to be in that situation. I’m not proud to admit it, but my embarrassment was the driving force behind my desire to address my child’s behavior.
I walked my child to our car and prayed for help. I wasn’t sure how to handle this particular issue. I was too frustrated to think clearly about it, and frustration is a path I usually follow toward anger. In this moment, the temptation to lash out in sharp words was strong. When we had made it to the safe confines of our minivan, I started the engine and the Bluetooth connected with my phone, kicking on the last thing I had listened to. It was my audio Bible app picking up where I’d left off on the way to church that morning. I was memorizing the book of Colossians at the time, and the first verse that came over the speakers as I put the van in drive and left the parking lot was Colossians 3:21. With a child sobbing in the backseat, the first words I heard after praying for help in this moment of anger and frustration were this: “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
This was a critical moment for me—a woman who struggles mightily with the besetting sin of anger. The Lord had been working on this area of sin in me for years, and motherhood only seemed to bring it to the forefront of my life daily. My kids were never the real problem, though. My anger was the problem long before they were born. God was simply using the challenges of motherhood to reveal my sin and address it head-on. I didn’t realize when I started memorizing Colossians months before that God was going to dramatically shift the way I parented through the process of Scripture memorization.
The words I was storing in my heart during that season were not just coming to mind when I needed them but were literally being played aloud for both me and my son to hear. The speakers in my van declared the encouragement and correction I needed when the temptation to bubble over in anger was strong. I stopped the app and repeated the short verse aloud a few times. It’s written to fathers, but the principle applies to mothers as well. “Do not provoke your children.” What does provoking my son look like in this moment? I wondered. What would discourage him from obedience? I knew the answers immediately. Retaliating in sharp, needlessly angry words would both provoke and discourage him. Responding in sin would both provoke and discourage him. Blaming him for my hurt pride would both provoke and discourage him. When we arrived home, I sent him to his room so I could gather my thoughts. Chastened by the Lord, I prayed for his help. Loved by the Lord, I handled the situation with my child as best I could, provoking neither of us to anger or discouragement.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Colossians 3:21 was my way out in that moment in my minivan in the church parking lot. I realized that day that God would always provide a way out when it came to obeying him rather than giving in to my sin. His Word provides the correction we need when we need it, and when we store it up in our hearts, meditating on it night and day, we give ourselves a deep well to draw from in those moments of temptation. When we do the work of rehearsing God’s Word day in and day out, we think about the words, the meaning, the implications for our lives. It’s more than just memorization. It’s meditation. Thinking deeply about God’s Word changes the way we think, which will, with the Holy Spirit’s help, change the way we act and react.
I wish I could say that all my parenting scenarios play out the way they did that day. I still struggle with the sin of anger more than I want to, but that day was a turning point in my fight against it. The Lord met me in my parenting and my weakness with his words, turning my mind and heart to meditate on Scripture. His words gave me pause, and in the pause, I could see the way out. In Christ, I was free to take it.
We are promised that our temptations are not only common, but they are also escapable. Paul wrote, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor. 10:13). When you have meditated on Scripture, the recollection of it might be the exit you’re looking for in a moment of weakness. God is faithful, and he will give us a way out of temptation, for it is not his will for us to sin against him or our children. When we see the exit, we must remember that he is glorious and sin is death, so what is best for us when Satan tempts us to despair is to look at our Savior who understands us and run toward him. He is the exit! Think on his promises, his beauty, his faithfulness, and run to him.
No matter where you are in your motherhood, God’s Word can meet you in it. Whether you’re up all night with babies who won’t sleep, trying to be firm in a standoff with a strong-willed toddler, talking through boundaries with your eight-year-old, or navigating heartbreak and loneliness with your teenager, God’s Word is filled with wisdom to not only speak life to your children but to shape your mothering with his tender love. If you’re tempted to give up, speak harshly, lecture excessively, or simmer quietly, turn your face to Christ by meditating on his Word throughout your day. He is your way out.
*This is an adapted excerpt from Memorizing Scripture: The Basics, Blessings, and Benefits of Meditating on God’s Word. Used with permission.
